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Ryan Seacrest's Journal

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13th February 2004

6:46pm: Why are all the contestants on Season Three so good?
Why are they not hitting on me :(
Why am I so fricking short?
Why am I worried about "on-air?"

Congrats Fantasia, and Diana



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24th October 2003

9:54pm: I hate my life.

-I'm not a member of MBP anymore

-I feel like I don't have a friends list


-Gareth Gates has longish hair??


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9:28pm: Bridge over trouble water....
I wore my American Idol 2002 T-shirt to bed last night, and memories just came flooding back (both good and bad). I thought of all these talented young kids that I hardly get to see or talk to anymore.

I thought of Brian Dunkleman. ::shutters::

The relationships, the laughs, the love.

And then there was American Idol 2003, a great show, but poorly placed in my life, in the middle of something of a breakdown.

And I sit here. I havn't shaved in maybe three or four days. I sit here thinking about how beautiful Will Young, how lucky anyone is to be around him. How much I'd like to see him.

And maybe I cry a little.

Hello everyone, I'm back.


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5th October 2003

4:44pm: American Idol 2004.

I've grown up (not literally, I'm still short :( )


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30th January 2003

9:18pm: Hi- real quick...

Just wanted to tell those people who added me to their friends list that I'll add you back, but my computer is being a real Simon Cowell (American Idol humor) so be patient!

It's great to see some contestants online!!


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28th January 2003

10:38pm: For those of you watching tonight...
Wow. The Ryan Seacrest bashing really needs to stop. Simon needs to get a friend, stop hitting on me (and the contestants) and move on with his agine decrepit life!

Luckily only a portion of what actually happened was aired tonight. My "twin" and I went out for coffee after, and it was an enjoyable event. That shirt that Simon handed to me was planned, as a gag- and last season's "sheer chaos" was a mistake on the behalf of Brian Dinkleman, and my personal stylist.

Anyway... mmm Atlanta- it's great to see that my home town brought in 50+ contestants, a great portion of all the contestants.

Tomorrow we'll reveal the 32... hopefully it'll be complete with hotties and talent.

see ya later ;)


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24th January 2003

3:17pm: My friend Ricky from Detroit called me two nights ago after the L.A./Detroit auditions show. She lives in a Detroit suburb, I forget which one, but we knew eachother from growing up back in Georgia. She was really upset that our show depicted Detroit, formerly the "Motown" hit-maker, as a talentless pool of nothingness. She went on to mention something about how the only good people that made it through and were featured on the show were from Ohio. She was also upset about the writing "What am I doing here? I could be in Palm-Springs, or Miami!" The truth is that I guess she was right. Detroit, in recent years has declined in popularity and I guess talent. I honestly do feel bad about the situation, and wish it was edited differently so Detroit's 22 real "winners" were featured. I guess they did have some great people. Remember- all people auditioning didn't even amount to the people that actually got in line to audition.

On a different note- I'm very excited about how the show is hitting off so far! 40 million viewers! I think it might be bigger this year becuase more people already know about it and will be watching it from the start. Right now we're in Pasadena shooting some more prelims, and on the 28th the top 32 will be announced!!


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10th December 2002

10:34pm: Wow how things have changed.

I look at my friends list, it has been decreased a bit. A few people have deleted. I haven't spoken to anyone in a month or so. I miss all of you, I miss everything. It's just been so busy all the time. Too busy for love. I haven't had any sorts of compassion in a while, but I've grown to because use to it, more indpendant.

It's funny how I use to leech onto others for popularity. How crazy use full this whole thing was to me, and how everyone hated me. No, actually it was funny how people thought everyone hated me, but I was actually content with the group of friends I had. I remember how people thought they thought they looked so great saying I was stupid, when really I was better off than they were. I'm glad I have my life back, and I don't have to be so dependant on this stuff.

Wow, I love this Old Navy Commercial with RJ, Tamyra, Nikki, Ryan and Christina. It's so cheesy, yet so delicious. They're all moving on. I took a look at their schedules and they're doing concerts and things, I'm so happy for all of them, can't wait to see what comes out of them. Justin's single is going to be released soon- that'll be exciting.

New Idol Premieres January 21st, 2003! Watch it!


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10th November 2002

11:56pm: Well i'm here, I may as well stop to say hello!


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24th October 2002

10:54pm: Detroit auditions were crazy.

3,000 people showed up - and we could only let 600 people go in. Wow, I had never seen so many crying faces of young girls in my life.

I'm starting to like Kristin more and more, she's going to be a fun cohost! I'll never shut up about the time she slid under the table.

We got our finalists in Detroit, and now we're in New York! I love New York! We had a big day, sooo many people showed up, I'm so tired!!

MPB thing? let's see...


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20th October 2002

2:08pm: Wowwy wow wow wow.

Sorry for the crazy neglect. I've been way to busy for comfort. I don't think I've signed on. I just got a text message from kristin_holt and I flipped, becuase she's going to be my cohost! Why won't anyone tell me. Wow the comedic tension is going to be very diffrent.

Anyway, I left Marc's a few days ago to do a few radio shows while I still could.

Off to Detroit, with Kristin Holt... she'll keep "fallin in and out in love" with me? Ha! Can't wait to see the crew again!

I'll update soon loves!


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9th October 2002

2:46pm: I love it here in Florida! Miami is spicey with a nice latin man. Marcs children are beyond adorable. Becuase of the fact that I am a child, I work so well with them.

For instence, last night, we were hiding form Marc. I got them hyper somehow, I don't know how. So we were running up and down the stairs, trying to get Marc's attention, I don't know what he was doing. Finally we went to the basement and hid under this table for what seemed like ever, and Marc pulls the cutest "i'm a dad" move ever, it was so adorable. He pretended like he didn't know where we were, and respectively the children giggeled. I was in shock.

Then Marc and I got to spend the night with some wine and alone, in bed. Aww, I love those serene moments we can get, when the children are in bed. But I love the children... oh what to do? I flew to California later that night to tape "Live From The Lounge" With Sheryl.. what a blast... she's hysterical!! Then it was back to Florida, Marc stayed up for me, it was so nice, and adorable.

Got to run for now loves!


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8th October 2002

9:23pm: 2 month birthday, Ooh, it's like 1/6th of a year.

One liner... at least it wasn't to show off an icon.


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6th October 2002

1:03pm: I'm going to Miami. I called the radio station, and it's all set up, Danny will take over for me ::gags::

Marc's comming over to help me pack right now. I needed a break, I needed to get away. As soon as I'm ready we'll just fly off to Miami.

This is just what I needed a little break from the LA life, I think I went overboard for just a little bit.

I'll update later.


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4th October 2002

12:28am: ENTRY:
Wow. I think I owe myself an update. I don't think I've taken a gap this long. It's just time for a little update. Maybe long? But my idea of long is a one-liner to some.

So on Tuesday, Elvis Costello hung out at the Lounge. But I can't wait this week when my good friend sheryl_crow will join me. It will be extra fun becuase Sheryl is hot, sexy and great in bed. I'm kidding lovely. Who am I talking to?

Marc has been in LA. We've seen each other a few times. He seems a little down. I don't know what I can do about the relationship. There are so many issues that he and I have to deal with, and so many problems we both have. I may come on too strong, and he doesn't nessicarily like that.

I finally got a chance to watch the tape of the American Idol reunion. It was so weird for me. I don't know how to explain it. I grow more and more hate for my live television self. I can't watch it anymore. It was so depressing that Dunkleman said "join us for the next season" I didn't know what to do. The audition process starts soon. It's fun, and really dull at the same time. I had to work long days, kind of just talking to the contestants. Some of them are very annoying, and I feel bad for them. They came here with determination, but I mean come on- they don't have a clue, and it's up to Simon to full them in on their lack of talent.

The tentative schedule is as follows:

Detroit - Oct 21st
NYC - Oct 24th
Atlanta - Oct 27th
Nashville - Oct 30th
Miami - Nov 2nd
Austin- Nov 6th
LA- Nov 20th

I'm excited for Atlanta, get to go back to home sweet home. Any excuse to go back home is a good one. Not to see my family, but I have lots of people I'd like to see. Collage friends, exboyfriends, exGIRLfriends, etc.

I'll be around online, I'd like to talk to some people!

I've been around for alomost 2 months now. That's exciting, I think.


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22nd September 2002

8:01pm: It’s been a hectic last few days. I’ve been trying to make up for it in a series of semi-one liners. Yesterday was upsetting because Marc left. Every moment spent with him was one to remember. We had the most interesting conversation before he left. We just laid in bed and he told me about his family. Most importantly he told me about his children. That man loves his children and would do anything for him, and he has my full support. I made Marc breakfast in bed, well maybe not in bed. I made him some eggs, scrambled. I’d like to think of myself as an ok cook. My uncle back in Georgia who owned a restaurant, use to teach me a few tricks.

The day before Marc left was one of the greatest days I’ve had in a long time. We slept in. I never get to sleep in. We both love a warm body in our bed, it’s the best way to sleep. Marc called his kids, and I made breakfast. We ate then went for a walk in the warm walk around the ocean. Marc looks so cute in his coat, the wind blowing around him. We walked down some piers and admired the fisherman and their big catches. Soon enough we got hungry and I took him to this quaint restaurant and we had the most delicious food. After lunch, we walked back to my apartment and relaxed in the hot tub. I love playing in my hot tub with Marc. He’s so adorable when he’s wet. After enough time to wrinkle us up, we dried off and laid by the fireplace. We ordered in Chinese, and ate it by the fire. Once we were done, we just fell asleep.

I would consider that a perfect day. We got to spend the whole day together. Before, he had the Grammy awards, and I had radio and all that. But on Friday, we got each other.

It is pimping season, isn’t it? We'll see!


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21st September 2002

1:39pm: I've hungered for your touch
One liner? I'm not sure... yet.

I think that pimping should come naturally, but whore all you want.

Marc is leaving today, in just a few hours. I've spent so much time with him, it's incredible. I am going to update later, I just wanted to say that I was on a comment frenzy and I don't usually do that!



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18th September 2002

11:51pm: Updatey
Now that I got the chance to update, I thought I just might start off my saying: jacobyshaddix_ is king. The end. Coby also loves Pepsi Blue.

Things have been too busy. We got to do the Lounge with Goo Goo Dolls, the day after Marc flew in. He was gone all day yesterday rehearsing for the Latin Grammy Awards. He came home late, which still gave us a chance to talk and drink a little. We soaked in the hot tub until we were exhausted beyond belief. The night was filled with interesting conversation. I love to hear about his kids. I respect a man with children c_odonnell hey!) And when Marc talks to me in Spanish, I just lose it. Anyone could talk to me in Spanish and I could just melt.

Today was really busy. I woke up early, after very little sleep for a quick flight out to Las Vegas. I arrived around 9 am, and we started more rehearsals for the reunion. Brian and I had missed a lot because we hadn't been rehearsing with the kids. It was great to see some of those kids- and others... not so much (Mark ::coughs::) Tamyra is so funny, always to hyper. Plus Nikki and Tristen running around asking Paula for ice cream sandwichs... poor kid doesn't know Tamyra had them. Natalie looked really excited for the show, and she was lusting over Chris Badano the whole time. Rodesia looked cute, always a pleasure to see her. Jim was blakeless so he seemed a little upset. I think Justin still couldn't believe he was on Opera, and the fro was alive and kicking. Alexis looked really good and energetic. Ryan Starr seemed a bit upset, but I know she's going places. Christina... wow. Christina looked very good and performed amazingly. Tension between RJ and I was a little heavy. And Kelly... Kelly Kelly Kelly!

Everyone looked good, sang good, the show is going to be fabulous when it airs, so everyone watch it Monday September 23rd!

Meanwhile, I'm still in Las Vegas, we're going to have a little "Goodbye American Idol" Party for all 30 cast and crew. It's a special goodbye for Dunkleman, who lost his job. I hope that boy can still manage to keep his career successful. The last thing I want to see him is to be cast away from the whole entertainment community, because, I must admit... he's a funny guy.

Tonight, tonight, tonight was not my best night. After the taping, I decided to relax a bit before the after party and watch the Latin Grammy Awards to see Marc. Then I had to put up with crap from certain people which I was just too fed up with to let it go. I'm sick of being ganged up on, and I just wouldn't take it this time... it was from people I hardly ever talk to. Never have I stooped to a level as low as ganging up on someone or even hating on them. This time I had to put up with 3 or 4 people, and I just didn't. The funny thing is I came out victorious because I didn't make myself look foolish. That's all I have to say about that, there are enough communities that Coby has provided me with to vent my anger. I just want to thank all of you who stick up for me, I really appreciate it.

Well, I should get going to the cast party, then I have to fly back to LA and surprise Marc! Night.


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16th September 2002

8:33pm: Happy Birthday Marc

Marc is flying out here was we speak. He was supposed to arrive tomorrow morning, but after we talked, he thought it was best to come today. He'll be staying here until the 20th.

Short update, lots to do, I'll have one later!

Everyone listen to the Lounge tomorrow!!

Oh yeah- New Icons, thanks to c_christian <3


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15th September 2002

11:43pm: What to say?


I was nominated 7 times. I'm up against myself 3 times in the same catagory.

- I am not 11
- Ok, i write like an idiot sometimes, but other times I'm just tired and write like a total idiot. I have a feeling the people that voted for me in that one don't read my livejournal.. and don't see that I don't write like a complete moran.
-I like my icons, in fact, most of them now I didn't make... some people have really really bad icons.
- Why would I delete? My paid account hasn't expired... and actually I think that my LJ life is going good. I'm reaching 100 friends, and I was just added to MBP.
- I deleted for like 2 seconds [ for ooc reasons ]
- People invite me into chats, so what
- People invite me into chats, so what
- People invite me into chats, so what
- Am I really of Pseudo-Intelligence?
- Why am I such a let down?

I know they're all in good fun. But the fact that I was nominated the most time kind of sinks in, so say what you want. I voted becuase I thought it would be a pay back to those people who were mean to the newcomers, but I was wrong... oops.

I'm trying to keep a cool head about this.


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3:15am: Update
What to say what to say... where to start?

The Star is holding an "LA Idols" competition. I don't agree with the competition, because American Idol 2 is holding auditions in just a few months and for LA to just have this miniature competition will just be a big mess. Yet, I'll go along with it because it's my station and I'm true to it.

Dunkleman showed up for the first rehearsal for the reunion. He had what I'd call a beard. He gained quite a few pounds, and just looked seriously upset. The poor man. He knows the reunion is going to be the last American Idol thing he'll ever do, and I don't even know if he'll carry though with it. He looked so different when we filmed MAD TV right after the finale. The episode of MAD TV aired today. I found it quite funny. FOX should use some of the writers for American Idol 2, after we had to fire all those other ones. Not only the American Idol sketches were funny, the Jenny Jones... that was clever.

This week is going to be busy and I'm going to have to be at about 10 places at once. On the 16th we're doing the LA Idols show. On the 17th, the Goo Goo Dolls, headed up by johnrzeznik are coming on Life From the Lounge Then, the following day, the 18th... I have to fly out to Las Vegas, where we're taping the American idol reunion concert. And during all this time, Marc is going to be in town. From what he's told me, he's staying with me ::swoons:: He's flying in the 17th (the same day kelly_clarkson's single comes out) And will hopefully stay as late as the 20th. The same night I'm taping the reunion, he'll be taping the Latin Grammys.
*Also... Check out the addition of hot new icons made my me...

I just want to take this time to tell all the American Idol kids that I miss them and I miss their updates. I even miss its_tamika, and her crazy spunk. I should really go out and buy the book because I haven't seen it, and one only knows what they put in there. Yes, there will also be a video game. *can we wait until the sequel folks?* I also miss other people. I won't name names.. because they could be right in front of my nose, and I don't even know it.

Hmmm, anyone need some handywork done? How about a two-day one room makeover? Call up the sevices of _ty_ He'll be sure to help.

Well I'm off for now. Need my sleep ;)
Current Mood: sleepy


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13th September 2002

1:17am: Kiss me-

I almost don't even have the patience for it any longer.

Anyway, at first I was going to pimp Marcellus, but he was hating on me, so instead I decided to pimp manley_pope The cunning and cute star of RENT with Joey Fatone.

These past few days have been lovely. I spent the last two nights with Marc. You have no idea how nice it feels to wake up next to someone you really care about. Spooning in my best friend when it comes to that. I told Marc I had a dream that I was sleeping next to the most perfect guy, and I woke up and it came true. Last night I came over and we ordered Chinese. I was soo hungry I couldn't handle it. We washed down the chinese with a nice bottle of wine that Marc must of been saving for a nice occasion ;) We were both so tired, he had all his touring and I was running around frantic for the radio, so we just laid down, cuddled up, kissed and went to bed. I'm getting to spend more and more time with Marc and it's such a great feeling to have someone there. He's coming to LA the 17th (write that down, goo goo dolls on the Lounge) For the Latin Grammy's
it'll be wonderful to sit and relax in the hot tub, and just spend some quality time together, and we won't have to deal with flying out to see each other for a few days.

After I left Marc's, I went over to kelly_hu's because I told her I wanted to see "Queen of the Damned" and I watched it with her. I brought a lot of ice cream to eat. We were such pigs. The nice part about the date was she just got back from lunch with Andrew (a date that i set up) She told me all about it. I'm not going to say anything, because last time i did they got all mad at me and I had to edit the entry... not cool!

I've been talking to my agent a lot. Which reminds me, I found this at E! Online.

SLAM DUNKLED? The TV show Celebrity Justice reporting that Wednesday night's Idol finale was the "swan song" for cohost Brian Dunkleman. The show says Ryan Seacrest will be back to host Idol 2 next year, but may do it solo.

It's true. I think that was the last time that I saw Dunk. The poor guy didn't even say goodbye when he moved out.
I have been talking to my agent about a possible female cohost! That would be so great.

TNN picked up a few more episodes of Ultimate Revenge, which I'm excited about. I guess they're hoping to attract more viewers after the success of American Idol, who knows.


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10th September 2002

10:33pm: It Belongs to you and me..
Well it's been a few days since an update, so I'll give it a try.

Today was out September 11th tribute. We had taken phone calls for what songs to play earlier last week, and we played the songs and took calls from people it was a time to remember. We asked people where they were when they heard about the attacks, and we got so many calls. I remember where I was when I had heard. It was real early in the morning in California when it had happened, so when I had gotton up, everything had already happened. I was driving to the radio station, when I stopped at a light, a man had motioned for me to roll down my window. I did, and he said "god bless america, turn on the radio." At that moment I panicked. I flipped on whatever was on, and heard the news. As many would say it was unreal. The light turned green and I just stayed there, in total shock. I couldn't even hear the horns honk at me, I just absorbed the information I was hearing. Finally, a woman passed by me in the other lane and honked her horn and I took off. When I got to work, the whole station was a little bit somber. My producer asked me if I heard, and I said I had. He placed one hand on my shoulder and hugged me in a weird way. This was a man who wouldn't show any emotion to anyone... hugging me. The phone lines were all lit up and we were just taking calls from people, hearing what they had to say. I can almost remember every detail from then on. I guess it was true, what all those doctors were studying. You do have every piece of information that ever took place lodged in your brain, and you don't remember it unless something triggers it out.

We will always remember September 11th, 2001

Last night, I went out to dinner with marc_anthony. We got to talk and enjoy each other's company for one of the first times. I got to know more about his kids, and everyone back home in Miami and I told him a lot about me, and my childhood. We went to a place that he picked out. The food was amazing, but the company was better. It was a great evening that was cut short because Marc was a little tired and had a lot on his mind. Fortunately, he surprised me by knocking on my door later that evening. I was extremely excited because I felt like there was so much more we wanted to explore- plus I never got dessert. We laid down on my couch, and chatted together, while I just put my head on his chest and almost dozed off a little. Sooner than I thought, Marc had to go, but I deeply enjoyed his presence.

I have been added to must_be_pop and I'm very happy about it. Also, Coby added me to anger_rehab A place that might come handy sooner or later.

I'm excited for Kelly and Andrew's date, becuase I set it up and they both seem to like eachother!


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7th September 2002

3:35pm: Forgive me if I get excited, forgive me if I don't
Last night I stayed up real late just to watch jake_gyllenhaal on "Last Call" with Carson Daly.

The show helped me realize two things: I dislike Carson Daly, and for anyone to comapare him to me

Oh and shakira_ripoll agrees... she called him a Jackass, among other things...

But the fact was, that I sincerely do miss Jake. He's so funny and intelligent, intresting to hang around with. He looked really cute too. They were talking about a movie deal he turned down becuase of full frontal nudity required.

Needless to say - that would of been a movie i'd love to see. But really, I would love to see or hear from Jake, becuase I havn't for a while.

Oh, the title of this entry has to do with what he said on the show, an old Clark Gable quote. Had to do with a sex scene with Jennifer Aniston.


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5th September 2002

10:37pm: from national enquirer online:

"American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest's mystified about fans constantly asking if he's gay! The witty wiseguy delights in cracking them up by explaining that just because he highlights his hair, loves shopping and adores tanning booths does NOT mean he's gay!

yeah, it just means I like having sex with men.


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